Stan vs Kyle!
by metallicanirvana
Summary: The title says it all, two best friends are now returning back to school and are really close till they meet her. Now their lives are turn upside down and their friendship is tested.


It was an average morning for the South Park citizens Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman

_It was an average morning for the South Park citizens Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman. Kyle and Stan have been best friends since kindergarten, now 17 and starting 6__th__ form their friendships are to be tested. Their friendships have consolidated over the past 8 years but never have they had to face a challenge like this. Never had they faced anyone like…. Serenity._

**Kenny**

"When speed of light travels in a vacuum is the fastest wave although all electro-magnetic waves travel at the same speed. I reckon speed of light could travel faster in a black hole, I mean since electro-magnetic waves don't need a media and consists of…" I was explaining before the bus stopped at the same old bus stop me and my 3 best friends have been standing at for years, waiting for the same old bus and the same crazy bus driver.

"That's great Kenny, I care so much about your scientific opinions," Cartman said sarcastically. We took our usually seat at the back of the school bus, the old smelly, broken bus we have rid for so long. We had claimed these seats after the epic battle against Craig and those guys. 6 years ago we fought a dynamic battle, we were only armed with knowledge, courage, war tactics and of cause our main weapon, the spit ball. Many victims suffered in the great war of 2002 and we lost at least two causalities, our maths textbooks and 35 each for ripping up our maths textbooks. Those old days are now over and slowly we are maturing, or at least we are supposed to be….

"Dude, what are you doing?" Cartman asked, snapping me out of my trend of thoughts. I looked around, I didn't realise everyone had left but me and Cartman. He had a good question, what was I doing?

"I dunno man, screw it, lets get to class." It was the first day of school and for some reason I felt excited. I guess the main reason I felt so happy about being back in prison was Butters was coming back. He went to Germany for the holidays and I hadn't spoken to him in nearly 3 weeks. Cartman and I started walking through the school halls.

"Yo man, where's Butters?" Cartman grunted. Cartman viewed Butters as his puppet for a long time but now I guess they are good friends.

"Dude, I have no idea." I responded. Cartman and I were forced to bond on a new level, at first it was because we were both envious of Stan and Kyle's friendship but as time went on I started to see Cartman wasn't so bad.

"Kenny, Cartman… look at this!" Stan screamed at me and we ran towards them. They were inside the classroom, except it didn't look like our classroom at all. In fact there were many changes, Mr Garrison had disappeared and Towelie was standing in front of the class. The room had a strong scent that was instantly recognisable as Marijuana.

"Towel… What are you doing here?" Cartman asks in confusion and anger. I got to admit Cartman isn't as calm as Stan and Kyle and he has some anger issues. He has never really liked Towelie but I reckon the genetically engineered smart Towelie is pretty cool.

"I have no idea what's going on." Towelie said, his glass eyes slowly being painted red.

"Mr Garrison is having emotional problems again." Wendy said rolling her eyes. I quickly ran to Wendy and gave her a kiss.

"How have you been?" I asked her. I know its wrong, I shouldn't be dating my best friend's ex-girlfriend but Wendy is different. She isn't just Stan's ex-girlfriend, she is also one of best friends. However Cartman still looks down at our relationship, claiming that it is wrong and that Wendy is nothing but a Jew. Yeah, some things never change.

"Uhh, hello… are you Mr Garrison?" A new girl, dressed in the standard white shirt and black skirt, asks.

"No, Mr Garrison is uhh… sick, so who are you?" Clyde asks as a small smirk forms on his lips. I got to admit I agree with Clyde on this, she is smoking hot. Her jet black hair hangs near her waist, her light brown eyes shine like nothing I have seen and her smile is something that could win any guys heart over in a few seconds. Maybe I'm over observing things but something about her made even Cartman feel at ease.

Cartman was a strange guy, he has only had one girlfriend in the past, Nelly and who hasn't had her? He claimed after their relationship that a man worst addiction is women and that love jeopardizes your talents. Which is why I'm amazed that he can't stop staring at this girl. Maybe it's just the weed in the air that has gotten to everyone.

"Oh… I'm like new, my name is Serenity." The girl nervously said as every guy was staring at her.

"Oh, that's cool… you can sit here if you want, Butters is away." Kyle announced as she gave him a smile and sat down in between Kyle and Cartman, which was Butters usually seat. Kyle and Cartman had huge grins on their faces as did most of the males in the class.

"Ok, I'm supposed to teach you English… uhh read this book… Wanna get high?" Towelie asks, it had been a while since we had seen Towelie apparently his marijuana addiction has waxed and waned over the past few years and I guess he is back on the dope.

"Did you just move here?" Kyle asked the new girl as Towelie passed a book around.

"Yea, I like moved from New Zealand," Serenity replied with a smile.

"What's that? Like a town in Texas?" Cartman asked, he was trying to impress Serenity but lets admit it, he was never great at getting girls.

"No, it's a country near Australia." She replied a little offended. Cartman knew she was offended and instead apologising, he started reading the book which was actually a print out from some site known as .

"Bartman by metallicanirvana? Wasn't this some lame fic on a site?" Cartman asked confused.

"Yeah, but Mr Garrison wants you to analyse how writing 70 chapters about the Simpsons ruins your reputation if your not fit to be a writer." Towelie said before pulling out a blunt and lighting up.

For the rest of the period we continued reading, I got to admit it wasn't that bad but Cartman of course had a different opinion. When the bell rang for interval, me and Wendy decided to go talk in private… well she wanted to talk to me in private.

"What is it?" I ask nervously, she doesn't usually want to talk to me in private. We walk to an empty hallway, one that no one dares walk near because the principal's office is very close.

"That new girl… I don't like her." I looked at her stunned. I didn't expect anything like that come from Wendy's mouth. Wendy never judges someone so quickly but the way she said it…

"Dude, she is like the new girl… she has been in our class for like an hour and you don't like her?" I ask confused. It wasn't like Wendy not to like someone, she usually likes anyone and everyone except for Cartman.

"She is going to stir up trouble, trust me…" Maybe Wendy is just a little jealous, she shouldn't be… I mean Wendy is still hotter than her right? Oh who cares, I love Wendy and that's all that matters, I wonder if she is questioning that…. If it's not that, I have no idea what has gotten into her.

"You little punk, I told you to back off." I hear Stan scream not to far away.

"No you back off, she is mine you little asshole." Kyle replied. Wendy and I ran to where they were. Stan and Kyle were arguing with each other, and the only thing stopping them from attacking each other was Cartman.

"What's going on?" Wendy asked as the two best friends gazed at each other in anger.

"Fuck you Jew," Stan said as he walked away.

"This isn't over, and you know what… your not my best friend anymore. You're just a worthless puddle of homeless men urine." Kyle screamed as he walked away as well.

"What happened?" I asked Cartman. Kyle and Stan were best friends, what could have made them behave so out of character?

"They were fighting over Serenity…" Cartman claimed. That doesn't seem right, nothing has ever come between Kyle and Stan and doubt a girl is about too.

"See what I mean Ken?" Wendy said. I sometimes question what Wendy thinks but she is usually right and I guess this one of those times. But Serenity didn't want to break Stan and Kyle up… it just kind of happened. What is going to happen now? This is only the first day and already Kyle and Stan are already against each other.

"This is going to be interesting," Cartman said with a small smile as Wendy crossed her arms and frowned at him.

"Those two are your best friends and you think it's interesting to watch them fight?" Wendy asked.

"Well, they are going to stop fighting when they realise Serenity is mine anyways," I held in my laughter, when I go home I think I am going to laugh for an hour or so. Wendy wasn't so kind and she started laughing at him.

"Shut up, don't forget I was your first kiss…" Cartman said annoyed.

"Yeah and after 9 years I still want to get your taste out of me," Wendy replied calmly.

I agree with Wendy, that new girl is bad news even if she doesn't mean to be. Her presence has started a fight, on the first day back…. We have never fought on our first day back but today….


End file.
